You might want to consider yourself as a rational being, however, in fact, your life is inspired by emotions. They inspire conclusions, move you to action, or paralyze you in anxiety, anxiety, and fear. They are the cornerstone of your finest memories and the bond that produces deep connections with other people. In this guide, we will explore four principles for working with your emotions and three suggestions to handle intense feelings like anger, anxiety, and sadness when they threaten to overwhelm you.
It is possible to feel anxious one minute, angry the next, and then have waves of despair flood through you apparently out of nowhere. Since they could take you on these wild rides, it is natural to be somewhat wary of strong emotions – and do everything you can to prevent them or keep them at bay.
You have seen what can happen when so-called”negative” emotions like anger, anxiety, and sadness overwhelm you or others. You have memories of unskillful expressions of those feelings you wish you could forget. Images of psychological trauma are stored deep in your subconscious, warning you to be cautious once you feel these emotions or witness them in different folks.
In the face of vulnerable feelings, a more logical approach may feel safer. It’s easier to concentrate on your ideas and not venture into the scary world of feelings. However, reason has its limitations. You may think you’re more rational than you are. Even though you can logically weigh choices or consider unique thoughts, the closing”Yes this” and”Not that” arises from what”feels right.” Even when you’re focused on thinking rather than feeling, in the long run, your decisions and actions are based on your own”gut feelings.”
Because emotions are so closely connected to actions and decisions, in addition to being connected to threatening memories along with your strongest inspirations and social connections, it is important to understand how to manage them skillfully. Let us explore four principles for relating to feelings in a mindful, intentional, and empowered way.
Four Principles to Deal with Emotions Skillfully
Though your first inclination when you are feeling overwhelmed by uncomfortable feelings, such as anxiety, anger, and sadness, may be to divert yourself, downplay the feeling, or run away, this just causes emotions to go underground, to your subconscious mind, where they are saved as strain on your body, eat away at your reassurance, and finally surface as sickness. Repressed emotions are the cornerstone of compulsions and bad habits, in addition to the origin of overwhelm and flareups in associations. You want to address them.
Emotions arise to offer you specific details on what is going on within you, around you, and with others-and this info will stick with you till it is acknowledged and heeded. Thus, it’s important to change your perspective out of fear of emotions to viewing them as useful guides. Emotions arise with information you need about your life and the ability to do it with this information. Thus, the number one principle of handling emotions is to stop ignoring them and listen to what they must show you.
What are the sensations happening inside your skin? Especially, notice any areas of present discomfort, since these hold important clues to what you will need to know and do today.
If you are not accustomed to checking in like this, you may not feel much at all or you may feel strong aversion to feeling distress. Remain current with whatever feeling or lack of sense is there. Attention to feelings requires practice. It is a real art you can learn. Bear in mind, if you do not listen to what your emotions are trying to tell you, they get stuck on repeat and keep biking.
2. Mindfulness of everything you feel changes your connection to it.
Mindfulness is paying attention, on purpose, at the present moment, without judgment. When extreme feelings arise, rather than immediately trying to do something about them, make care to witness, listen to, and feel them. This action of mindfulness brings new neural connections in your habitual emotional patterns which allows them to shift. You bring a layer of consciousness to your emotions that affects how they impact you.
Mindfulness prevents you from being”gripped by” your emotions in a manner that”takes you over.” You get freedom and space inside and about the feelings you”have,” by recognizing that feelings don’t define”who you are.” They are only information about what is going on within you, around you, and others.
Knowing that emotions are transient is reassuring when emotions run strongly or cycle repetitively. When you shine the light of consciousness in your emotions, you can see what they must show you, take suitable action, and enable them to release.
As soon as you’ve tuned into the feeling of an emotion in your body, ask it what message it’s for you. What’s this feeling telling you about how you’re relating to a circumstance, to yourself, and with other people?
Given this information, what actions would be useful for others and yourself?
Because we are not generally taught to recognize the meaning in emotions, we often overlook, ignore, or avoid their messages. When we do so, psychological energy assembles into overblown high play to receive our attention. It is like our feelings state,”O.K. you did not get the message in my civil indoor voice, so I’m going to shout it in you.” You then feel intense anger, overwhelming sadness, or anxiety that’s through the roof.
When emotion has amped up to there, it can be useful to bring it down a notch to a manageable level.
Stop what you’re doing, close your eyes, and concentrate on slow, deep, gentle breathing, in and out through your nose. Close your eyes and engaging in this sort of breathing activates your body’s natural relaxation response, which will help dissipate the pressure, energy, and intensity of powerful emotions.
2. Feel the feeling of the emotion in your body.
Notice where the emotion can be found inside your body. Feel the quality of feeling there. Noticing feelings as sensations helps you see them objectively, so you obtain space from what you’re feeling.
3. Adopt the mindful perspective of a curious audience and question the emotion as though it’s a friend who wants to tell you something important.
With this mindset, ask your emotion questions, as though it’s a friend who’s attempting to provide you valuable information and you’re a scientist seeking discovery.
When you follow these suggestions, you change your perspective and choose the”over-the-top” extreme edge from what you’re feeling. Intense anger may downshift into a firm”no,” intense despair can shatter into”letting go,” and higher anxiety can settle into a motivational spur to action.
After a feeling has downshifted in intensity, it’s a lot easier to listen to it, feel it, and respond appropriately. You can take action to deal with the current situation.
The main point is that, as opposed to fearing the psychological intensity of fear, anger, and sadness, see if you’re able to move toward those feelings with a mindful, inquisitive mindset. As you do that, notice how they change and direct you to what you will need to do right now.